Tuesday, May 15, 2012

to live is christ, to die is gain!

**warning** sad post

these past couple weeks have been difficult for my family. on sunday april 29, my grandfather passed away. he went into the ICU on friday and they determined he had suffered a heart attack and they couldn't do anything but make him comfortable. to my family, this was a shock but at the same time, it wasn't. my papa had alzheimer's. so in a way, for the past year or so, we were already saying goodbye as we watched him slip away. but when my dad called me on friday saying they were going to the hospital, i just thought he would be back in action and in church next sunday. the next sunday, in the middle of our church service, he went on to heaven. my sisters and I gathered around his bed on saturday night and sang him hymns. i will always treasure that time.
at first i was fine. i was happy that he was in heaven and not hooked up to machines and in discomfort. then reality sank in. there is a huge void left in my life. he had a smile and laugh like no other. he was brilliant, wise, and kind. my papa wasn't just another old man. he was a minister, a scholar, a teacher, a christian. you only had to meet him once to see the love of jesus reflected in his smile.
he taught me to love the word of god, the value of praying for your family every day, and the how beautiful and important a relationship with god can be. he didn't sit me down and drill these ideals into me. he showed me in his everyday life. he left me a great legacy, not an inheritance of wealth or land, but a legacy of ministry that began with his parents and continued with my mom and dad and will, lord willing, continue with me. i have a goodly heritage! now he has reached the end we are aiming for. i am so so happy for him!
because of the prayers of my grandfather, i know i was kept from harm. because of those prayers my mind and heart are looking to jesus.
i feel that right now, 2 weeks later, i am fine, i have accepted the truth. i know i will go through periods of sorrow in the months to come. my husband's grandfather died almost 2 years ago, and my other grandmother died a month after him. i know how it feels, but every person leaves a different mark on you. you have to mourn for everyone in a different way.

if you are going through loss right now, i know no words can soothe your pain, but i want to share a scripture with you that has been helpful to me:
  But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.  For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.
I Thessalonians 4:13-18

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